Freewrite 8/21: Further nails

In one of my blog posts last month, I talked about my last chat with Mom, and how low she made me feel when I was doing exactly what she always wanted me to do.  Well, I now have reasons to add more nails to her proverbial coffin.

Ever since I moved out back in December, I had meant to get back in touch with my grandmother.  Mom had mentioned it, Aunt Mary Lou had mentioned it, and it was on my mind quite a bit.  I finally decided to do so.  While talking to my aunt and catching up on things with her (She's doing well, by the by.  Chemo's been rough on her, but she's handling it as well as she can.), I asked her if she could give me my grandmother's phone number, since my weird memory has her address memorized, but it refuses to store her number.  Needless to say, she was happy to give it to me, and I gave my grandmother a call.

My grandmother was incredibly happy (and relieved!) to hear from me, since it had been so long since I'd last talked to her.  She then told me that Mom was essentially badmouthing me to her whenever the two of them would talk.  It got to the point that my grandmother yelled at her for essentially abandoning me when I needed her the most.  She didn't share specifics about what Mom was saying about me, but from her voice and her words it couldn't have been anything good.

...Yeah, that sound you heard?  That was the sound of my feeling like I was slapped in the face.  I've grieved leaving (never regretted it!), wanted to keep some sort of communication open with her, maybe even reestablish some sort of relationship.  Now, I wouldn't spit on either of them if they were on fire.  After how abhorrently she and Dad behaved toward me, I would have thought eight months would be enough time for her to accept my choices and be more accepting of me.  Apparently some people have nothing better to do than stew in their bitterness; not that it matters to me since I no longer have to personally put up with it.

I will say this.  I love how my grandmother stepped up and supported me.  I admit, I'd been a bit leery of talking to her because I worried she would have heard the whole deal from Mom and thought I should try reconciling with her.  It is a HUGE relief to know that she is supportive of CSUN and that she encourages me to keep the 2.5-3 hour distance from Mom and Dad.  It makes all of this hurt quite a bit less.