I think it's official. In some ways, it hurts a little to have to say all of this, but I feel like it needs saying. I feel like I need to say it in order to move forward, in a way.
I decided to talk to my mother. Might not have been the greatest idea, but I wanted to tell her about my plans for CSUN and other updates on my life. While I wasn't expecting her to be gushing and happy for me, it would have been nice to hear some kind of support from her. The result? The verbal equivalent of a shrug and a 'that's fine'. That was the limit of my support from her, even after telling her about financial aid and everything else I was doing to make it. For someone who always valued an education, she really didn't seem to like what I was doing in terms of my education.
I don't want to give up on all of this, but at the same time I don't know what to do emotion-wise. It hurts more than I can say to have so very little support from her over something so important. All I can really do is hang onto the people who are currently the closest to me and get through this.
What makes this suck even more is how it makes me second-guess if I even want to go back to San Diego to visit at all. Faire is different, but I'd thought about going back and seeing them. Now, I feel like I just got cut off from a big part of my life that I loved, and I resent it.
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