Freewrite 7/5: Consideration and Courtesy

Y'know, the last time I checked I didn't turn in my 'right to be treated with respect' card.

And yet it seems Justin refuses to get that.  He was spouting off at me about how he didn't want to have to deal with my 'traumas' and my 'issues', and how that was keeping him from being truly considerate of me.

Fuck.  That.  Noise.

No, seriously, fuck it.  That is such utter garbage.  I have NEVER rescinded my right to be treated like a human being.  I have NEVER rescinded my right to be treated with the respect and courtesy that I deserve.  Do I have traumas to face and issues to deal with?  Sure, who doesn't?  Even he has issues and troubles he has to confront.

See, here's the thing.  And I've tried to explain this to Justin, but he refuses to see it.  The majority of the 'trauma' I deal with is security-based in nature.  I literally had days when I would be afraid to say something that might be taken as out of line, lest I be told to leave.  And don't get me into a lot of the physical threats, both promised and carried out, that I had to live with.  It wasn't an everyday thing, but it happened.  It happened enough to erode my security, my trust in others, and everything else emotionally that mattered to me.  More recently, my current landlord and his douchebag behavior aren't helping, and while I do have a place to go, the extra stress dealing with him has been causing certainly hasn't helped.  Also not helping?  Justin sitting up on his high horse condescendingly telling me how my 'issues' affect him to where he resents me.  Asshole.

Also, Justin is hardly innocent of having issues and faults of his own.  There have been times when I've gotten upset to the point of crying when I don't know what's going on with him.  All I ever wanted was to make him happy, yet between his OCD and his other faults he can make it next to impossible. 

So here and now, I'm going to say what I plan to do from here.  I'm much stronger than I was 6-7 months ago, but now it's time to work on galvanizing myself, as it were.  No more focusing on my purported 'issues' and 'traumas', and certainly no more sharing them with that idiot.  Any work that might need to be done (which really there isn't all that much at this point.  Just some fine tuning) will be done on my own, with little to no word to him unless utterly necessary.  Let's see how things go from here.  I think it'll be interesting, if nothing else.