So I've been busy these past few days. Too busy to remember to update this thing, it seems.
Justin and I spent last night and tonight together. As he drove me back here, we talked about things. My last question to him was if there were things I could improve about myself, especially now that I'm free of what hindered my progress in the past. In return, I asked him for the time I'd need in order to make such improvements. While he did tell me he would give me the time I needed to work on things, my cynical side says it'll believe that when it sees it. I think/hope/etc that he will, since I'm now on the right track.
So, here they are, in my own words. And here's hoping I can do them.
~Being more self-reliant and being able to contribute more to the relationship financially. These I lumped together since they essentially hinge on the same details. Basically, these entail my being able to work, save money, pay my own way on dates, and so on. It'll be a bit rough at first, but my first paycheck from work is this Friday, so I should be able to get started working on these then. I've been dependant on him since a) I had no job in over a year, and b) he was able and willing to help. With his own expenses increasing, it seems those paychecks will be coming in the nick of time. I also hope we can arrange a bit more time here and there to see one another. I really miss him, and I'd love to have set days/times/etc when we see each other. We'll see.
~Cut way back on the snark. I tend to tease and rag on him quite a bit. Then again, I tend to do it to a lot of people, so he's hardly the only one. It's something I tend to do affectionately, so it's tough for me to pick up at times when it's hurtful, since he doesn't always simply tell me it's bothersome until it's reached a certain point. Still, he does have a bit of a thinner skin than most do, and this is rather easy for me to accomodate (Plus, there's only one person who can rag on him to that extent. Nope, it's not me.). On a side-note, this is why being the daughter of a smart-aleck like my dad isn't such a great thing, nor is it so great when my snark comes out as a cover for insecurities or other things I'm feeling.
~Let him have his routines, and let him take care of them. This was more to do with my wanting to help him out this morning with breakfast and work-lunch packing. He has his routines, and while he appreciated my helping this morning, it wasn't much fun for him to find out I'd forgotten a couple things he normally packs. (One of which I realized after he left that I'd forgotten. Oops.) This is one where I'll leave him to it, but I also kinda hope that here and there I can help him. Like if I stay over with him on a holiday weekend, or his birthday, or some other time when I want to make things a bit more special. So this one will be easy enough to do.
So yeah. I'm really worn out tonight, but those are the major ones he mentioned. Now, to see if he holds up his end of the deal and gives me the time to work on them. I hope he does. Ideally, I'll be able to at least make measurable progress towards the independance/money ones, dial back severely on the snark, and keep on letting him do his things, to where I'll be in a much better place in a few months.
Wish me luck, and hang in there with me. These next few months may get interesting at points.
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