I'm really not sure what to think on things right now. It's an unusual blend of emotions that I'm feeling at this time, not all of them easy to talk about. Not even taking a few hours to unwind and fill out more job applications seems to have helped. All I can hope is that putting things down and getting some rest will help things out somewhat.
I need to work on my own emotional needs, that much I know. I also know that it'll take time to do so. But there are a few things I'm not as sure about. In order to do so properly, it seems I need to put things with Justin aside, at least for a few months. But the last time I pulled back emotionally from things, it was miserable. Granted, it wasn't for a potentially positive reason like this would be, but it wasn't anything pleasant, either, which makes me a bit averse to trying something like it again. It's not a breakup, but I'm still not sure what I'm having to deal with emotionally, it feels like there's so much. Maybe I'm just worried I'll do everything right, come out successfully in the end, but lose in the process.
Or maybe I'm just tired. I don't feel like any of it makes sense.
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