Since my post earlier this afternoon caught me up on freewrites, I figured I'd include this under the 'freewrite' umbrella, especially as I've been more aware of it as of recently.
Yes, it's about Justin. No, it's not necessarily negative.
So I was walking from the library in Santa Fe Springs to Cindy's car to wait for her to finish work so we could go home. As I was walking, I kept thinking of the readings/assignments/projects I need to keep up with for my Mortuary Science classes. And guess what kept popping into my mind and crowding all of those important things? If you guessed some variant of 'how much I miss Justin', you get an imaginary gold star from me. (Sorry, I'm fresh out of gold stars.)
It's not that it's a bad thing. After all, I could do far worse than thinking about someone like him. He's sweet, good-natured, (in my opinion) incredibly attractive, and in spite of his goofiness at times he's managed to get me to screw my damn head on backwards, so to speak. (I think it's payback for how long he admired me before I let myself admit I had feelings for him and let us get closer to one another. But that's just me.) He worries about me when things aren't going well for me, he celebrates with me when they even out, and he always makes sure that I'm as well taken care of as he can manage. Who would complain about that?
Well...
My only quibble is more with me than it is with him. My stupid, 'head screwed on backwards' mind keeps dragging him up any chance I give it. I give myself lists of things to do for school, it snarkily nags me that I haven't talked to him in a while/when will I see him again/whines about how I miss him/etc. It's getting a bit old to keep forcibly dragging myself back to my classwork a thousand times a day, 'cause my mind keeps wanting to daydream! I'm supposed to be functioning well on my own, not turning into some sappy lovesick teenager every time I'm away from him for more than a few minutes. It was cute in our first few months together, it's getting a bit tiresome right about now.
I had hoped that by having these 15 some-odd unit semesters I'd be too busy to think of him too much and to miss him that much when we're apart. Seems my mind has other ideas. Geh, I give up.
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