The hardest thing for me over these past few months has been feeling isolated from family. I can't talk to my parents without finishing the conversation feeling incredibly mixed, and the thought of talking to my sis only holds slightly more pleasure at this point. That's why I'm so glad my extended Iowa family has found me on FaceBook; yet even then I wasn't sure I could really talk to them or rely on them. I honestly thought I'd have to fight my battles on my own. I think that's why I was clinging so hard to Justin. I didn't want to feel like I was totally on my own in all of this, and he helped me feel a bit less so.
But my relatives have really come through for me with their support, their care, and their love. I still have a ways to go, but with them ready at hand, I feel even more like I can do it.
One aunt in particular rises above all of them and is especially dear and special to me. My Aunt Mary Lou, Mom's sister. She's a nurse back in Iowa, and she has been so incredibly encouraging of me doing Nursing. Well, to be fair, she's been incredibly supportive of many things I choose to do, and she's been so patient and good to me these past few weeks. I love that she's been willing to help me, yet I also feel horrible for leaning on her.
You see, she has breast cancer. She found out about it a few days before I moved last month, and she's been fighting it with everything she has. (Luckily, it was found at about Stage I.) I talk to her as often as I can, so I heard about her biopsy last week, and learned from another of my aunts about her bilateral mastectomy yesterday. She just got home today, and she's not only in great spirits, but she's incredibly supportive of my decision to pursue Northridge. She said we each have a battle we're righting, and even though they aren't the same battle, she said we'll fight them together. Neither of us will give up, we promised each other that.
I'm sitting here crying as I write this, thinking about how different our fights are. She didn't choose her battle, it was foisted on her, yet she's fighting it with everything she has. I chose this path for myself, and I'm fighting for what I believe it best for me. Our fights couldn't be any different, but she wants us to beat them together. That means so much more to me than anyone could ever know, that she won't abandon me, or make me worry about making mistakes, or anything I might be afraid of. She'll be there for me, and I'll work hard to make sure she has a front-row seat at Graduation time when I receive my first Bachelor's degree.
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